Holding A Grudge - Not A Good Idea

Many times our friends have issues seeing things the way that they are. This friend's perception was that everyone was out to get him. He would get mad at a person who didn't even know that he was mad at and not let it go. His behavior was outright rude to others and the kids didn't understand what was happening. I had to teach him to communicate, so this is the story that I came up with. We didn't fix it, but it got a little better, especially with coaching on the side.

Merrium Webster's definition for the word "Grudge" is a strong lasting feeling of resentment toward someone for a real or imagined wrong. I tend to hold grudges against other people. It is not a good habit.

Sometimes it is hard not to hold a grudge, especially  if there has been repeated incidents with a particular person. Sometimes it is hard not to hold a grudge if my perception is off a little bit. This means that I think one way and the other person didn't intend to make me feel this way. This is tricky, because the person who I hold a grudge against may not even know that I feel this way about them. So, there can be a lot of misunderstandings when a grudge is held against someone.

I need to try to find a way to deal with angry feelings besides feeling grudges against people. I have a lot of avenues to try. The first thing and probably the best thing to try is to talk to the person who I am angry with or who may have hurt my feelings. If all goes well, expressing my feelings tactfully will help the other person understand my feelings and change their behavior. I have to be careful with this, because my words have to be chosen just right or I may make the other person angry at me.

If this doesn't go well, I have people who I can trust to talk to about issues that come up. I have my teachers, my siblings, and my parents. They can help me understand my feelings better and perhaps give me some ideas on how to handle my feeling s of anger.

Getting control of my anger towards a person is important. I have to learn to let little things go and also be honest (tactfully) with how I feel. I also need to try to think about my anger and let go of the little things that may bother me. Hopefully this will help with friendships and relationships in my life.